Thursday, May 3, 2012

Alhamdulillah...It almost end

4 years and 1 month..Alhamdulillah perjuangan hampir selesai..Just wait for the official letter from uni..
Alhamdulillah 2012 bermula dengan  baik..dikurniakan bayi yang sihat dan berjaya melaksanakan amanah yaang diberikan..semoga nikmat yang Allah beri ini lebih menyedarkan..bukan melalaikan

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Kembali..

Alhamdulillah dah hampir 1 bulan setengah kami sekeluarga kembali ke Malaysia. Irsyad dah start d kinder for 3 weeks..without any tears. but he keep asking when we gonna go back to aussie..he miss school n friends a lot...if we still there he will start primary school this year..as for sabil today her third day at school..she keep complaining how much burden she got to face...wake up early..heavy bag..too much stairs to climb..no friends...n of course the teachers here is not that friendly which we can't really blame them since there is tooooooooooo many students to entertain..each standard they got 5 classes which approximately 30 students each..just imgaine from standard 1-6 how many kids in that school..plus the pre-school students...hectic....the first two days we did went to check her during break..but today i did tell her that i am not coming...but at 1 p.m will pick her up to send to irsyad kinder for transit..there she will have her lunch, shower, pray recite quran n fardu ain which is i think the best for her at the moment..poor my kids..at 7 a.m start from home and they only manage to reach home again at 6 the earliest..

as for work i am not that happy as before..too much changes happened..people become toooo individualistic..senang cerita berkira nak mati...as before we are more than happy to help each other..but not now..so i have to play the games like others..just do what u are required to do..but the truth is i am not happy....as time goes by i think i will adjust and work happily ever after..insyaAllah...

Friday, November 4, 2011

Doa seorang anak

Tadi lepas sembahyang maghrib tgk kak long and irsyad baca doa..tanya doa apa..irsyad jawab...i pray that you finish your work, always have a good sleep and nice rest, and let no one take our baby..

kak long every solat akan cerita i pray that you and ayah can finish work...finish work for me of course habis study and ayah habis kerja pagi...as she always see that ayah selalu restless

insyaAllah sayang ibu akan cuba habiskan kerja ibu...so ayah dun have to suffer again...

ibu baru je lepas naik angin as waiting for 2 weeks for nothing..alhamdulillah ibu just proceed with what ibu plan..very soon sayang our derita akan beransur hilang..insyaAllah ibu akan cuba takmarah2, tak nangis2 sampai kaklong and irsyad always have to calm me...and always ask is ur boss bully u again..i am so proud to be ur mum...setakat ni report from school anak2 ibu amat menghormati orang and x pernah cari gaduh..doa ibu supaya anak ibu menjadi anak yang soleh...I LOVE U KAK LONG AND IRSYAD

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Bosan

Bosan tahap gaban..nak balikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Friday, October 21, 2011

Kawan???

Alhamdulillah baru selesai edit Chapter 1...sedih tak baru Chapter 1..PhD saya adalah 7 Chapter..Tapi sv saya baru bagi komen Chapter 1 dan 2..Walauapapun positif..InsyaAllah semuanya akan dipermudahkan olehNYA..

Ditengah otak yang "mereng' sikit coz too much thinking saja la nak menulis..Lately mood swing is a must..Nak kata pembawakan budak ke or mmg naluri mmg 'baran' i'm not so sure..But I always have a 'baran' problem which sometimes i can control but most of the time is nit..mangsa is org sekeliling..

Talking about friends while during this study we will face a lot of hurdles..which sometimes we will share with our 'friends'...Nasib org mmg berbeza..apa nak cerita kat sini is I was a bit shock when notice that some people just happy when u have problem..I am lucky though most of my friend in accounting department is not like that..we always support each other and always share the sad and fun moment..tapi mmg tak paham why when we are telling that our journey is a bit smooth people will try to hurt our feeling dgn komen2 which is really unnecessary..but if we are in deep trouble we can feel the happiness of that people..Ya Allah jauhkanlah aku dari mempunyai hati yang bahagia bila org dalam kesusahan and susah hati bila menerima khabar berita baik tentang seseorang.

And many thanks to my dearie friend yg call me after reading my blog..really appreciate it mate..Thanks for you doa. InsyaAllah both of us will pass this journey..Lambat atau cepat hanya Dia yang menentukan...

Monday, October 17, 2011

Tiada air mata

What so funny about me know I have no more tears to waste regarding to my sv comments...though it is so hurt...like today i just laugh when they said my writing is too sloppy....whatever it is just pray for the best...this is all ujian from Allah....

i am also wanna laugh to see how good people can pretend to show how good he is...

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Mixed feeling

October

Heppi: InsyaAllah masalah belajar akan selesai x lama lagi
Genap 32 tahun 8 oktober lepas
Jumpa kengkawan UMT kat seminar postgraduate...what a fun time

Sad: ?????????????????????????? Biarlah ia tersimpan dalam hati..Semoga perasaan ini dapat dibuang jauh2...Sangat menyesakkan dada tapi sukar nak diluahkan..

Takut: Thinking of d chosen examiner...A bit scary

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

September......

hari raya....hari raya this year not as hapening as last year...adik2 switchback road dah takder...kak sofi dah takder...linda dah takder...fiza pun duk jauh...nasib baikla ada kak mimi n famili +sudin n waseem...manage to cook sate n nasi hujan panas+ lemang...saturday d first week of raya went 2 few open house..tp biasala mana sama ngan mknn malaysia...waa...but ttp syukur

Pindah rumah baru
...landlord ku sudah hampir mereng...dah lebih 3 tahun duduk umah tu..tak pernah ada apa masalah pun....alih2 lepas raya dia datang nak suruh org nilai umah...dia kata umah kotor la, tak pandai jaga la..busuk la...yang besnya busuk sebab aku baru jer lepas tumbuk sambal belacan...mana tak berbaunya...tu nasib baik aku tak goreng ikan masin jeruk...mau koma makcik tu masuk umah kitaorg...tapi nak buat camner..ikut hati malas dah nak pindah2...tapi dah malas nak layan makcik tue tu...akmal cakap kadang2 bila cakap ngan dia nampak kecik jer...(maknanya rasa nak lempang ler...aku pun sama)...

Bulan sakit sedunia...habis sudah winter..spring pun muncul dgn bunga2 mekar..cantik..yang tak syoknye cuaca pun kejap xtreme panas kejap xtreme sejuk...makanya kami sekeluarga xcept sabil pun diserang demam yang kronik..paling teruk si irsyad la...sian seminggu terlantar...

pasal pelajaran...alhamdulillah kerja nampak a bit smooth with my second sv...she start reading...yg my first one..as usual..uselesss...hangin satu badan...kalau time dapat news yg boleh menaikkan karier dia cepat2 balas email...kalau email tanya pasal thesis, hantar chapter, tak pernah respond..ikut hatiku yang lemah lembut ni nak jer aku maki hamun..tapi sabar itu kan indah...

Pasal ahli baru...alhamdulillah setakat ni makin sihat..bleediing pun dah kurang..maybe sbb less stress than ever...hopefully semuanya selamat..tak sabar nak balik malaysia menikmati makanan yang sebenarnya..i just had enough with frozen fish...chicken...miss stall food...

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Alhamdulillah

Walaupun sedih sebab terpaksa extend lagi 3 bulan, tapi bersyukur sebab Allah permudahkan urusan permohonan. Bersyukur sebab dapat head of department and dean yang sangat mudah untuk berurusan..dan bersyukur juga kerana meeting kelulusan yang dijadualkan pada 11 (today) dipostponed ke 14 AUgust...

Semoga ALLAH mempermudahkan urusan pengajian dan dapat menghantar dalam tempoh lanjutan ini..Semoga dikuatkan semangat dan diperlembutkan hati pihak2 yang terlibat dalam urusan kelulusan PhD ini.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Ramadhan

Alhamdulillah masih diberi kesempatan untuk menikmati ramadhan...Tahun ni Kak Long (Sabil) beria2 nak puasa jugak...bimbang jugak diri ini sbb sekarang musim sekolah...so takut dia tak tahan..Alhamdulillah dalam 3 hari ni dia langsung tak merungut..walaupun irsyad and semua kawan kat sekolah makan depan dia...tanya jugak kenapa kak long nak puasa..and kenapa sekarang kak long rajin solat...dia jawab..i'm fasting and praying because of GOD ibu...semoga Sabil membesar menjadi Muslimah yanng baik...whatever it is i'm really proud of her

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

letih menunggu

stress..hangin..cuba untuk bersabar tp sampai bila

Thursday, June 30, 2011

sutera

pagi ni membelek2 facebook ternampak la satu post pasal kain sutera..tetiba teringat kisah lama..kata org kalau taknak kasik baju sama ngan org lain beli kain sutera sbb dia kan lukis pakai tangan...definitely corak dia not identical...dalam 4-5 tahun yg lepas untuk menggalakkan perkembangan industri sederhana kecil especially bati kerajaan tlh mengisytiharkan certain hari untuk pakai baju just batik to kakitangan awam..so everybody strart searching 4 batik sutera..i went to this one shop ada satu baju ni adalah sgt lawa..tanya salesgirl tu ni batik lukih ke dik..ho kak..lukih tangang...aku pun beli leer..pakai mmmg rasa lawa gila la kain tu jadi baju kurung..kain saja yer..one day ada invitation wedding..aku pun pakai la baju ni...duduk mkn ngan mak aku..sbb kat ganu mmg laki makan asing ngan pompuan..skali aku tgk masa nak cedok lauk akak sebelah pakai baju sebijik sama ngan aku..cuma baju aku hijau dia purple....aku pun gelak gila...
1. sbb pakai baju sama ngan org...
2. akak tu plak dah ambik lauk g dok sebelah aku...adakah dia x perasan kesamaan baju kami or dia mmg tak heran
pengajaran kat sini..jgn la korang caya kelentong minah yg jual sutera ni..ikut logik kreatif beno mereka untuk buat berploh2 ribu corak yg berbeza untuk setiap kain..

lps kes tu aku beli batik cop jer..senang..murah pun murah..or pakai baju kurung biasa..bawalk bekal duduk dalam opis senyap2

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Bila org perasan hebat

Hehehehe..this few months kesabaran mindaku diuji dgn org yang perasan hebat terutamanya dari golongan yang dtg dr negara south asia..yang satu pasal bangla husband and wife yang ada dalam postgrade room ni..MasyaAllah dia punya tahap kebanggaan yang tinggi dgn diri sendiri menyebabkan aku "impress"..

1. dia pernah ckp the best product was produce in Bangladesh..other place the product is low quality...hehheheeh

2. makanan from negara lain seme tak bes..takder rasa..beras pun xder kualiti.....minyak sapi negara lain bau semua tak best....heheheheh again

3. kualiti paper dia buat sgt bagus..pernah satu masa dia tanya aku mcm mana nak report result..aku pun ajar based on apa yg aku tgk kkat jernel..it happens that sv dia x suke..tau apa dia jawab kat sv dia aku yg ajar...kan dah busuk nama aku ni...pastu dia tanya lagi mcm mana nak run data..bila aku ajar then dia realise dia dah buat silap..so he fixed it..bila dah mcm tu xderla plak nak ckp kat sv dia aku tolong..admit wat sendirik lagi...aku kan balik malaysia presenta awal bulan ni..dia pun nyibuk2 nak present gak..dapatlah g spain...byk chantek muka dia nak mintak sample presentation dari aku sbb dia pernah dgr sv aku kata presentation aku ok...aku pun sbb dah banyik kali hangin..aku pun jawab give me 5 good reasin why should i help you..if you want my slide..please do pay me....sampai skrg aku tak bagi sample slide aku...heheheh rasa sgt bersalah but he should learn his lesson.

4. aku ni ikut pala otak jer nak datang opis..but this guys bila aku tanya dia akan jawab duk opis sampai pukul 12-1 pagi..konon2 nak bagi aku cuak..one day aku balik awal..dia pun tanya aku datang balik tak..aku kata tak..so aku tanya la are u guys stay lagi..dia kata yes...nak dijadikan cerita tetiba aku rasa nak datang opes..aku datang 4.30 hahahahah dah balik pun bangla 2 org tu..aku balik pukul 8.30 takder pun diaorg datang balik...nampak sgt kaki menipu

5. Pasal makan..both of them is muslim..kita kan malaysian very particular dgn halal haram..tapi diaorg ni belasah serba serbi..tapi bila sembang pasal nak beli daging halal you know roshaiza i am very strict with halal food..padahal kalau ada event takdenya nak tanya halal ke tak..pernah satu masa minah iran kawan aku kata masa diaorg tgh makan..u guys know that is pork..hahahha..terkial2 muka diaorg..padahal minah iran tu tipu jer

ini kes sv aku plak

1. paling banyak dia komplen adalah attitude org malaysia bila bekerja katanya malas la takde kualiti la..last week dia komplen failure rate student dia sgt tinggi n it is almost the same throughout the campus in aussie..tapi kat sunway rendah lak... dia kata mustahil sbb org malaysia bukan bijak sgt..nak ajer aku terajang dia time tu..bukan masalah bijak ke bodoh..masalahnya budak2 malaysia kelas diwajibkan datang...kat sini attendance rate sgtlah rendah..aku malas la nak argue sbb dia ni memang jenis bodoh sombong

2. aku ada buat apa compare pasal south asia and east asia result dia east asia la lagi bagus ekonomi dia..boleh lak dia cakap it can't be...stock market mcm malaysia tu bukan bagus sgt..lainla sri lanka...nak je aku ckp oi ko sedar diri tak negara ko tu tergolongan dalam negara miskin..itula pasal ekonomi dia tak berapa bagus...malaysia taiwan tu middle income and high income economy...

nampak tak tahap keperasanan hebatnya org2 ni..mender dah fakta pun nak putar belit..patutla org kata kalau dah ada iras hindustan ni mmg kaki belit...mmg sah kalau la aku jumpa ular ngan diaorg aku ketu diaorg dulu sbb nak selamatkan otak aku dari terus di abuse....

Ya Allah aku dah tak sabar nak finish this journey..this guys really make me suffer mentally

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Berbaloi kah

- Tinggalkan famili untuk mengejar sekeping kertas yang menyatakan level of education...
- Marahkan anak2 bila kita penat balik dari opis, sedangkan kita telah mencuri masa yang sepatutnya untuk mereka demi kertas iaitu duit
- bersengkang mata sakit kepala sakit hati dan segalanya untuk belajar


Kalau kita perasan segala yang kita buat ini adalah untuk mengejar hal2 dunia yang menyebabkan kita merasa kesuntukan masa untuk membuat persediaan bagi menghadapi hari akhirat..

kadang2 emosi aku memang terganggu..terutamanya bila berhadapan dgn manusia yang amat mengagungkan karier mereka...betapa berjayanya mereka...betapa hebatnya hasil kerja mereka..betapa senangnya mereka menilai dan memberikan keputusan atas penat lelah org lain....

kadang2 aku rasa nak quit from being an academician which I feel golongan yang perasan hebat..always downgrade people...berlumba2 nak berjaya sampai ada masanya gunakan keringat org lain....

I just pray that I'm not in that group..semua org ada keistimewaannya sendiri..bukan semua org dilahirkan mempunyai keupayaan yang serupa..to those who don't have the ability and the capability that the others have down feel down..just be yourself..what can we do is through DOA..

Monday, May 30, 2011

SV oh SV

Dah nak sebulan submit full draft..the feedback that I got from both sv up this moment

SV 1 - there is inconsistency in your writing. There are some equation which some in italic and some is not. when I ask him which part. Oh I didn't write it on your thesis as I am reading it while waiting to pick up my kids from school. so I don't have pen with me..I was gobsmack. how on earth I am going to know which part should I fix. the worst part he is crazy about publication but hardly give any input on it..what matters most is his name should be there..next week I have to go back to Malaysia leaving my dear hubby and kids coz he force me to go to get a chance for publication in high ranking journal. I ask him to help fixing the slide which is already there..end up with I have to think how to improve it. I was burst into tears this morning..

SV 2 - you have to delete this and this and that. end up almost 15000 words now. again I have to think how to add more and more and more. deleting is the easiest part, while cracking your head to make even a single sentence is dreadful. however I am glad at least somebody point me to the clear direction on how the thesis should look like though I have submitted this structure of thesis in December without getting any feedback. now towards the end they just comment here and there but again " atas angin" For the past few days I have been fixing my draft based on their "atas angin" comment. I even complete my cover page while waiting for their comment.

I wish to end this journey as soon as I can. I hate the fact that I am using "duit rakyat" to study, but extend it due to the irresponsibility of those involved in approving my thesis..before this I always curious how come people can't finish their study while spending 3 full years time. Now I extremely understand the reason why. whatever it is InsyaAllah I'll force myself and those people in a nice manner to let me finish this and submit before I'm going back for good.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Tertekan

Perjalanan PhD yang memeritkan..Sesetengah orang bernasib baik mendapat supervisor(SV) yang sangat membantu. Cek literature..tolong pikirkan masalah model..masalah penyusunan ayat yang tak betul...SV yang sentiasa mencari dan memantau pergerakan anak2 buah dibawah jagaan..memberi feedback as soon as they can...

namun semua org tak mempunyai nasib yang sama..ada yang mendapat SV yang hantar kerja berbulan2 tak disemak..SV yang ingin menumpang anak buah untuk kenaikan pangkat..SV yang ingin mengiktiraf hasil kerja org lain sbg hasil tgn sendiri..SV yang 2 selfish..arrogant as if they have got few times of nobel price..

rasa during this journey dah banyak air mata mengalir..cuba pujuk diri sendiri this maybe cubaan yang ingin mematangkan..atau balasan di atas kealpaan..whatever it is this journey perlu dilalui dengan penuh kesabaran..walaupun pahit..SV jgn sesekali diderhakai...tapi bagainmana jika SV itu attitudewise nya sangat menyakitkan hati

Semoga Allah mempermudahkan perjalan PhD ku yang InsyaAllah tinggal beberapa bulan..semoga dilembutkan hati org2 yang terlibat dalam urusan meluluskan PhD ini....dan juga semoga aku dan kawan2 ku yang masih berjuang ini berjaya melaluinya dgn tabah

Monday, January 3, 2011

TAHUN BARU AZAM LAMA

Selamat Tahun Baru to ols

Alhamdulillah sempat cuti2 Malaysia..sebelum menjelangnya Tahun Baru 2011..tapi cuti dipenuhi dgn duty sbb jaga mom yg having knee surgery..though things not as well as planned but Alhamdulillah manage to took care of her..

As mentioned azam lama nak finish study terlaksana..InsyaAllah by end of this year everything settle boleh concentrate to family..

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Parents

Pagi2 tadi time nak hantar kak long pegi school my neighbour datang. Dia tanya kenal tak ayah dia. Of course la kenal sbb masa australia day tu dia ada bagi jambangan bunga..from his own garden..anak dia kata next week owner baru akan duduk rumah tu..ayah dia dah masuk rumah org tua sbb too old dan tak sihat mentally and physically..teringat time pakcik tu ada..dia rajin gardening..baik..tak racist..bukan macam org gila kat depan umah yg tolong panggil bomba tu....kesian kan...pakcik tu ada anak tapi tak duduk ngan anak dia..napa???? sbb culture kat sini satu kesalahan besar kot jaga parents when they are old..pernah skali ada org putih tu tanya tak rimas ke kalau jaga org tua ni..tu that extend mentality dia..sedih kan..

tu beza org beragama ngan tak..tapi skrg ni pun hantar org tua ke rumah org tua dah jadi amalan biasa kat mesia..sbb??terlallu ikut budaya barat..anak dari kecik duduk bilik asing..nak bagi independent...dukung tak payah..ada stroller..so no direct touch mcm org dulu2..mengucap la wahai anak2 yang ada keinginan nak hantar parents dia utk jagaan org lain. Minatang simpang kita pun jadi camtu...

btw hari ini i'm so happy ada progress walaupun progressku x berapa diappreciate oleh sv ku..apa ku kisah...janji ku happy. semoga ini permulaan yang bersinar in this journey.

wassalam, selamat hari raya untuk semua...

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Petikan yg menarik

Seorang imam besar pernah menyatakan jika sesuatu itu bukan milikmu walau 1000 org yg dtg membantu ia tetap tidak akan jadi milikmu tapi jika ianya Allah tentukan untukmu walau 1000 orang yang menghalang ia tetap akan jadi milikmu.
Kidnap from my student facebook status..

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Ujian2

Betul ke tak lagi banyak ujian membuatkan kita lagi kuat...kita selalu diuji secara sedar atau tidak..ujian dalam perhubungan, persahabatan, perkerjaan, mendidik anak2..as 4 me ujian boleh mematangkan kita..mengeratkan lagi hubungan...tapi kadang2 ujian2 ni boleh membuatkan kita feel very insecure..

like what has happened to me lately..sometimes we always try to think as positive as i can towards people behavior..without realizing that they just take advantage on others..i have experiencing how people can use their power just to abuse others..e.g bos kpd anak buah, lecturer kpd student or the other way...friends when they knew how vulnerable of their friends condition..how sad...but what can we do..we can't change the world with our small voice..Apa yg boleh aku buat just to pray that my action today doesn't lead me to the worst situation. I just want to help my friend and at the same time try to make me feel comfort going to the office...when thinking of this n saw his face make me want to puke..how ashamed he can did such horrible action..really lost my respect..

Semoga Allah melindungi diri ini..