Monday, May 30, 2011

SV oh SV

Dah nak sebulan submit full draft..the feedback that I got from both sv up this moment

SV 1 - there is inconsistency in your writing. There are some equation which some in italic and some is not. when I ask him which part. Oh I didn't write it on your thesis as I am reading it while waiting to pick up my kids from school. so I don't have pen with me..I was gobsmack. how on earth I am going to know which part should I fix. the worst part he is crazy about publication but hardly give any input on it..what matters most is his name should be there..next week I have to go back to Malaysia leaving my dear hubby and kids coz he force me to go to get a chance for publication in high ranking journal. I ask him to help fixing the slide which is already there..end up with I have to think how to improve it. I was burst into tears this morning..

SV 2 - you have to delete this and this and that. end up almost 15000 words now. again I have to think how to add more and more and more. deleting is the easiest part, while cracking your head to make even a single sentence is dreadful. however I am glad at least somebody point me to the clear direction on how the thesis should look like though I have submitted this structure of thesis in December without getting any feedback. now towards the end they just comment here and there but again " atas angin" For the past few days I have been fixing my draft based on their "atas angin" comment. I even complete my cover page while waiting for their comment.

I wish to end this journey as soon as I can. I hate the fact that I am using "duit rakyat" to study, but extend it due to the irresponsibility of those involved in approving my thesis..before this I always curious how come people can't finish their study while spending 3 full years time. Now I extremely understand the reason why. whatever it is InsyaAllah I'll force myself and those people in a nice manner to let me finish this and submit before I'm going back for good.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Tertekan

Perjalanan PhD yang memeritkan..Sesetengah orang bernasib baik mendapat supervisor(SV) yang sangat membantu. Cek literature..tolong pikirkan masalah model..masalah penyusunan ayat yang tak betul...SV yang sentiasa mencari dan memantau pergerakan anak2 buah dibawah jagaan..memberi feedback as soon as they can...

namun semua org tak mempunyai nasib yang sama..ada yang mendapat SV yang hantar kerja berbulan2 tak disemak..SV yang ingin menumpang anak buah untuk kenaikan pangkat..SV yang ingin mengiktiraf hasil kerja org lain sbg hasil tgn sendiri..SV yang 2 selfish..arrogant as if they have got few times of nobel price..

rasa during this journey dah banyak air mata mengalir..cuba pujuk diri sendiri this maybe cubaan yang ingin mematangkan..atau balasan di atas kealpaan..whatever it is this journey perlu dilalui dengan penuh kesabaran..walaupun pahit..SV jgn sesekali diderhakai...tapi bagainmana jika SV itu attitudewise nya sangat menyakitkan hati

Semoga Allah mempermudahkan perjalan PhD ku yang InsyaAllah tinggal beberapa bulan..semoga dilembutkan hati org2 yang terlibat dalam urusan meluluskan PhD ini....dan juga semoga aku dan kawan2 ku yang masih berjuang ini berjaya melaluinya dgn tabah